Jack and Jill (2011) ★

Jack and Jill (2011)

Director: Dennis Dugan

Cast: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino

Runtime: 91 minutes

My Rating: ★

In Short: Idiotic, insensitive and illogical; so stupid it’s not even funny

I saw the new Adam Sandler masterpiece Jack and Jill while drunk, so forgive me if I get a few of the details a little sketchy, but if you had asked me to watch it sober I would have punched you in the face. I would rather rub my balls in gasoline and light a match than oblige to that request. Not since I last listened to Rick Santorum speaking for about thirty seconds have I felt such inane boredom and cynical bitterness with the shitty world it seems we live in, where people find this sliver of asscrack sweat entertaining or of any measurable worth.

When questioned on the subject of euthanasia, I always answer that it should be legalised. After seeing Jack and Jill I am now especially vocal on the subject; God knows it would do wonders for Sandler’s career, a career which recently earned this particular film a world record for most number of Razzie awards won. I can’t believe I can actually say that without sounding over-the-top: Jack and Jill is so bad that its awfulness broke a world record.

I’ve ended up in some fairly awkward and strange places while intoxicated, so you’d think it would be a relief to wake up watching a movie, right? While the alcohol did make much of it mildly bearable (and I won’t lie, there are one or two jokes that did manage to rustle a chuckle out of me), I did feel like clawing for the exits after about forty five minutes of ridiculous crossdressing, unrealistic anthropormorphised animals (which believe me, is one of my pet peeves in movies), and ignorant racial stereotypes, among other things which surely earn from me a solid condemnation.

As many have remarked, the most shocking thing about this film is the presence of Al Pacino, who is either bankrupt or has a remarkable amount of spare time; the only two explanations I can think of for him being here, playing a ridiculous, caricatured version of himself that will earn only pity from his fans. Indeed, one of the movie’s few mildly funny moments is also sad because it relies on Pacino’s recognizability as a star, and familiarity with his previous roles, and it also involves him completely desecrating such famous and powerful lines as “I know it was you, Fredo” and “Attica!” that earned him Oscar noms. Indeed, the film seems to rely so heavily on Pacino’s history that one joke involves the destruction of his only Oscar (“You must have plenty!” he is told, to which he replies: “You would think, but strangely no.”) How could an actor sink this low? In all fairness, they probably asked Robert De Niro first.

The number of celebrity cameos in this cinematic queef seems directly proportional to its awfulness, and there are a lot of celebrity cameos (Regis Philbin, Drew Carey, Shaquille O’Neal and Johnny Depp must also have a lot of spare time and cash issues). One can imagine none of them will look fondly back at their experience on the Jack and Jill set, though Pacino was arguably the most embarrassed. He does give Sandler sage advice in regards to a commercial they shot for the film which could easily be applied to Jack and Jill as a whole: “Burn this. Burn all copies of it.” Unlike films such as The Room and Troll 2, there is no pleasure or worthwhile humour to take out of this movie. Stepping into it, one expects to be welcomed with a certain greeting, though sadly the one I was expecting was not there. Nevertheless, I shall recite it to all reading this review: welcome to the seventh circle of Hell.

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Posted on April 9, 2012, in Humor, Movie Reviews and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. ‘Scathing’ is an understatement! Completely understandable review however….I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed an Adam Sandler film. In fact, the last Adam Sandler film I saw was Click when that came out in the cinemas. I thought that one was okay at the time, but I’m a bit hesitant to revisit it….
    Good choice on leaving in the ‘cinematic queef’ by the way, hahaha

    • I didn’t think Click was awful either, to be honest. But he’s just been getting worse and worse… we were going to have a double feature of Jack and Jill and Just Go With It but we were barely able to finish one of those movies, let alone both.

  2. Wow. I don’t know what else to say apart from thanks for not cutting the “cinematic queef”.

    • The only reason I considered cutting it was because I thought I had already used a lot of over-the-top language, but ‘cinematic queef’ was just too good to cut.

  3. Jack and Jill.

    Pacino nailed it with his last line, “Burn it.”

    • I thought so too. It’s so amazing that they would include a line like that at the end of the movie. It’s almost as if they’re talking about Jack and Jill itself.

  4. Oh good lord, why did you watch this? I mean, I haven’t seen it (though I will, just to see how bad it is), but it looks SOOOOOOOO AWWWWWWWWFUL!

    What’s the bet that when it comes out on DVD, everyone in Dannevirke will be like “OMG, this is the funniest movie ever!” I hate this town.

    • Hahaha they probably will. There are actually one or two “so-bad-it’s-good” funny moments, but overall most of the jokes are the exact opposite of funny. Some of them are even offensive. I’d be surprised if Jewish and Mexican viewers aren’t very pissed off with the insistent and racially insensitive stereotyping that is almost constant throughout the film.

  5. I can’t wait to see how shit this film is. I remember when the first trailer popped up and I was too gobsmacked by the horrifically shit premise to be bothered to even view it. I have a passion for bad films and I just hope it is bad enough to laugh at, not so bad that it is just painful which I imagine it will be. But my motto is no matter how awful a film is if it manages to incite one chuckle, one scare, one emotional response of any kind you have not wasted your time entirely.

    Pacino has had some great roles but I have to say as far as the great big name actors go he is one of more over rated. It is starting to show now, in the last few years his career has started going south. This film could be the nail in the coffin.

    So glad to see you going to such an obviously bad film. I myself need some shlock therapy after all the classic films I’ve been chewing through lately.

    • It’s certainly not the worst movie ever made, but it certainly ranks up there.

      I haven’t enjoyed Pacino in anything since HEAT.

  6. Yeah, this looked horrible.

  7. Suprised you even decided to watch it. With all the negativity surrounding this I have no intention of ever seeing it….

  8. Tyler is watching ‘Jack and Jill’??? What’s the world coming to?? 😀

  9. HAHAHA This is one film I never thought I would ever see mentioned on this site… OH MY GOD!! HAHAHA

    • HAHAHAHA I suppose you are right about that. I try to maintain a variety of different reviews. I’ll be reviewing another 2011 release tomorrow, EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE.

  10. OMG, that must’ve been awful to watch. I actually spent 10 minutes trying to convince my parents not to see this. They wanted to because a Mexican comedian was in the film and I was telling them don’t even bother. I refuse to see it after watching the extremely awful Just Go with It and I’ve been disappointed with a lot of Sandler movies over the years. After having the unfortunate experience of seeing the trailer for this film and his new one that is coming out. I’m done. I will never watch anything he does except for Punch-Drunk Love because it’s a P.T. Anderson film that features the only time Adam Sandler actually gave a brilliant performance for once in his pathetic career.

    • There are Mexican characters in the film, but they are all portrayed rather insensitively as stereotypes, to a degree so offensive one could even call racism.

      Punch-Drunk Love is the only good Sandler performance, and it is great. I’m so annoyed that an actor who has the capability to churn out a performance as effective as Barry Egan in P-DL continues to make shit movies like Just Go With It and Jack and Jill.

  11. I’ve managed to avoid everything to do with Jack and Jill, but I laughed pretty hard reading this review. I don’t think I am capable of remembering drunk times, let alone being able to write from drunk-memory.

    Interested to see if it would be any bearable when stoned, for example. (From the sounds of it, probably not.)

    • In all fairness, I did have to look up parts of the movie that I missed when I wrote my review. But I am surprised with the clarity of certain memories from this film, despite being drunk. There are just some things you can’t un-see.

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