What’s Your Movie Sin?
Forgive me, movies, for I have sinned.
What is a movie sin? It’s a detail to do with movies, whether a preference or a secret or an admission about your experiences with movies that you consider to be negative, and will try not to repeat.
We’ve all done it now and again. Movies are so affecting in my life and the way I examine things that when looking at the most normal things, I can instantly pull out a film reference from the ever-expanding film encyclopaedia in my head.
But sins. These are the things we’re ashamed of, that the film industry and other movie-lovers look down on. And in accordance with the well known seven deadly sins of general existence, I present to you the seven deadly sins of a movie lover’s existence. Be warned.
1: Greed: This is when we splurge. Not on watching movies (see Gluttony), but rather on buying them. Last year, when I first started working on a list of my Top 100 favourite movies, I decided to go out and buy as many of them as I could. Credit cards were maxed and the cash was emptied from my pocket. Sure, it was worth it, to own all those movies, but it’s a dangerous thing to let your buying obsession get away with you. Luckily, us Kiwi men are appropriate cash spenders most of the time (yeah, right.)
2: Gluttony: This is when we have to, simply must, see all the movies we can. If there’s a classic, it must be seen. If it’s received a good review from a certain reviewer (like perhaps Southern Vision! ;-)), it must be seen. This is a non-stop need to see the movies, and this can lead us into some nightmarish, derogatory worlds which we prefer to stay out of. Do I remember the second weekend of May last year when the doors were boarded up, the curtains shut, the lights off and the DVD player on? Yes, I do. It was an awful, Ray Milland-style lost weekend (except with movies rather than booze) that I’m hoping not to repeat.
3: Pride: We like to be proud of ourselves when we acquire a certain rare DVD, fun fact or quirky collectible, but we must remember that pride and selfishness, are pretty much the same thing. I like to think I’ve seen a nice amount of great movies, but I’m sad to have to admit that amongst my movie loving peers, I have a comparitively small DVD collection (158), and my tally of movies I’ve seen (approximately 500) is a dwindling amount less than my mates’. Then again, I spend a lot of my time doing this blog so that could be the reason I don’t see as much movies anymore, but I don’t really care about watching movies as much as I do writing this stuff for you so that’s that.
4: Envy: Pride’s lower-class twin brother is envy, the Irish leprechaun with the silly hat and funny face who dances on your scalp as you realize what an amateur you are. Last time we had our monthly movie night was when I saw Citizen Kane for the first time. My sister invited her husband, who told me he’d seen it five times. He had a smirky look on his face of self-satisfaction and I felt so idiotic, waiting this long to watch such a classic. Don’t let this green monster get to you… envy, I mean, not my brother-in-law.
5: Lust: No, not the Last Tango in Paris kind. Lust is when you love movies too much. Like, so much that you must constantly rewatch it to decode its meaning. You become obsessed with it, to the point where it drives you insane. You love this film, but seeing it once, twice, thrice or… (fource?) is not enough! And with the ridiculous price of going to the movies to see a film, we must try and get as much as we can from one viewing, unless we’ve got the DVD from Netflix or whatever you use. Lust certainly isn’t the most dangerous of the movie sins, but it can waste more time than any of the others.
6: Sloth: Laziness. Like, when you go for very long stretches of time without watching a movie. It is probably the most common sin among general people, but movie obsessors very rarely let it happen to them. If you wait a period of longer than four days without watching a movie… that’s sloth. It’s annoying, but if you’re gonna watch and review movies, you need to keep a constant flow of them in your life. It can be hard to avoid, depending on how you’re employed and whether you have a family, but try not to let it happen.
7: Wrath: The opposite of Lust. This is when you hate a movie so much that you rant on about its awfulness and try to distance yourself from it as much as possible. When it comes up in a conversation, you are instantly seized by a fit of rage. The film’s name rings in your ear like an out-of-tune guitar, constantly strumming awful-sounding notes in your brain. Wrath’s a bitch, but then again, so is Gigli.
So there you have it. The seven deadly (movie) sins. Now it’s time for…
Leave a comment telling me which of the sins you’re guilty of. Do you commit these sins regularly? Got any opinions on the sins? Lemme know, down below!