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The Ten Most Outlandish Acts Larry David Has Committed on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Curb Your Enthusiasm has just started its eighth season over in the States, and we can rely on Larry David once again for consistent hilarity. Of the seven seasons so far, here are the ten craziest, most shocking things LD has done on TV, in chronological order:

Called Cheryl’s Aunt a Cunt, Beloved Aunt, Season One

“Devoted sister, beloved cunt?” Incredibly unexpected, this is an example of the worst possible typo, which shocked and appalled Cheryl’s family, just moments after he won them over with a Marlon Brando impression. Speaks for itself:

Tripping Shaq at a Basketball Game, Shaq, Season Two

Larry’s just being ignorant here, with his legs stretched out, completely careless, and along comes Shaquille O’Neal… The best part of this clip is Richard Lewis: “It’s not an assassination attempt, for Christ’s sake!”

Commented on a Young Child’s Penis, The Nanny from Hell, Season Three

What a cringe-worthy moment! Things are running fine between Larry and Hugh until the latter’s son’s penis is mentioned. Fuck Hugh, Larry David!

Stabbed Ben Stiller in the Eye, Ben’s Birthday Party, Season Four

“The toothpicks… there’s nowhere to put the toothpicks!” Larry is working on his golf swing, avoiding a tedious classical song and accidentally blinding a famous actor all at once. I can’t find a clip for the scene, sorry.

Stole a Golf Club from a Dead Man’s Coffin, The 5 Wood, Season Four

To be fair, the 5 Wood was stolen, and Larry deserved it back, but to think all of this could’ve been avoided if he hadn’t been a smartmouth to a kid. I can’t find a clip for this one either.

Befriended a Sex Offender, The Seder, Season Five

“Cheryl, he’s a JEW! He’s a JEW!” Larry befriends a bald sex offender and invites him for Passover, with unexpected results.

Stole Flowers from a Memorial Site, The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial, Season Six

After getting into an argument with the Dean of Admissions to an important school at the ice cream store, Larry steals flowers from a memorial site to give to the woman as an apology. It does not end well. Here is the aforementioned argument:

Got His Therapist Jailed, The Therapists, Season Six

In an episode jam packed with hilarity, Larry convinces his therapist to help him stage a mugging and rescue to help him get closer to Cheryl’s therapist. The cameo is funny enough before we see what he actually makes the therapist do.

Urinated on a Painting of Jesus, The Bare Midriff, Season Seven

In what is officially my favourite ever episode of Curb, Larry “splashes” a painting of Jesus, which has unforeseen results. Not only one of the funniest episodes of Curb, but also one of the funniest episodes of… well, anything.

Brutally Murdered a Beloved Swan, The Black Swan, Season Seven

Not too long after inadvertantly killing an old man, he proceeds to accidentally do away with a country club owner’s beloved pet, Kyoko the black swan. Only LD.

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There. That’s my list of the top ten craziest, mot controversial, shocking things Larry David has done on Curb Your Enthusiasm. There are hundreds more crazier things throughout the whole series, and I can’t wait until Season Eight hits screens over here. Anything you’d like to add? Leave a comment below.

The Ten Best Episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm

Bald Asshole

Recently, I became addicted to the hilarious HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm, and have since bought all seven seasons on DVD and watched them religiously, and I can’t help but notice a little bit of Larry rub off on me. So… I’m going to present the ten BEST ever episodes, a task which is extraordinarily difficult, and also provide reasons, quotes and classic moments to back me up.

So, without further ado, the ten best episodes of Curb, in chronological order:

S2E3: Trick or Treat

Never before have I heard someone respond to the question “Are you Jewish?” with “You wanna check my penis?” Larry David opened that door into a world of easy offence, especially to two teenage girls who commit a “hate crime” and the disputed inventor of the Cobb salad. Terrific.

S2E7: The Doll

“Sweet Judy Brown Eyes?” Larry manages to commit more atrocious yet seemingly acceptably accidental incidents in this rollercoaster of an episode. From a misinterpreted genital examination to a horribly misplaced drink bottle, Larry David serves up countless offensive comments and acts yet again in this season highlight.

S3E4: The Nanny from Hell

“You don’t comment on a four-year old’s penis!” I have complete sympathy for the nanny here, that tune is atrocious and just might have the possibility to drive me to insanity. As to whether Lewis coined that oft-abused term is still to be disputed though I doubt anyone will dispute Larry’s outrageous gift of a dozen spongecakes which end up having an unlikely usage.

S3E8: Krazee-Eyez Killa

“You my Caucasian?” Larry gives lyrical advice to a black rapper, suffers the horrible consequences of adventurous fellatio and learns true jacket throwing etiquette in this well-known episode which is regarded as one of the best. As to whether Larry is a motherfuckin pimp is to be decided.

S4E6: The Car Pool Lane

Speaking of Larry the motherfuckin pimp, his adoption of a Big Momma prostitute for access to the car pool lane has unexpected results and the appearance of Jorge Garcia “Hurley” as a doubtful drug dealer is a shockingly perfect example of his shockingly imperfect behaviour.

S4E10: Opening Night

The longest episode yet, this hour-long season finale is one of my favourite episodes simply for Larry’s brilliant rendition of Max Bialystock in The Producers. His sudden burst into a comedic routine (“People, this is my cousin Andy, or as he is affectionately known by his nickname, The Primary Reason for Anti-Semitism”) is priceless and perfectly Larry, as is his determination to get his anniversary gift and a dislike for Republicans (“You have a picture of Bush?”)

S5E8: The Ski Lift

I was surprised all this could be crammed into one episode, with the big vagina thing and the ski trip and Larry’s yarmulke-toppling performance as an orthodox Jew. Also, seeing him swap places with Jeff in marriage, even if temporarily, is hilarious enough. And as well, I don’t know if edible underwear have ever showed up at a more perfect time.

S6E3: The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial

“I like being called Daddy,” says Larry to the dean of admissions to a sacred school which he is determined to get Sammie Greene and the Black kids into. Stealing flowers from a memorial site is perhaps the most atrocious thing he’s ever done (next to pissing on Jesus), but it seems strangely normal coming from Larry.

S7E2: Vehicular Fellatio

From Larry’s vicious assault of a sealed GPS to his distaste for oral sex in a car (which I seem to remember him receiving in Season One), this episode was a riot of mistakes and coincidences. Who was blowing who? No one can be sure, but vacuum-sealed packaging and a badly timed romantic moment between Jeff and Susie could be the end of all three of them.

S7E6: The Bare Midriff

Without a doubt my favourite episode ever, The Bare Midriff had everything. I’d never laughed so hard so many times in one Curb episode. A doubtful decision of office attire to a classic case of racism toward bald people to a gift Richard Lewis wishes he never got Larry to a stunningly outrageous desecration of Christ to a suicide attempt that nearly leads to Larry’s death… whew! There’s so much hilarity in this one episode that it’s beyond a shadow of a doubt, a reason to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm.

The Episodes That Didn’t Quite Make It:

S1E3: Porno Gil, S1E8: Beloved Aunt, S2E2: Thor, S2E9: The Baptism, S3E9: Mary, Joseph and Larry, S3E10: The Grand Opening, S5E7: The Seder, S6E1: Meet the Blacks, S6E9: The Therapist, S7E5: Denise Handicap

There you go, my ten favourite Curb eps. Now leave a comment telling me if you agree or disagree, and what your favourites are.

Thanks for reading.

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